Overcoming Bloglessness

Daily Prompt: In Good Faith

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Daily Prompt: In Good Faith.

Describe a memory or encounter in which you considered your faith, religion, spirituality — or lack of — for the first time.
Photographers, artists, poets: show us FAITH.

I Never Believed

The first doubts came with the first day of Sunday school. I remember the moment, singing “Jesus Loves Me”, unconvinced that it was true. I didn’t love Him and I didn’t like the notion that I belonged to Him.

I doubted that the Bible was the “Word of God”. I doubted that exactly 144,000 souls would be sucked up into heaven when The Rapture comes.

Doubts are the work of the devil, I was told. Don’t let the devil lead you astray.

I felt guilty. And scared. What’s wrong with me? Am I so weak? So wretched? I prayed hard. I tried to believe, but I doubted when I went to the altar at church camp and I doubted when I got baptised.

When I tried to teach my children the basic Bible stories, because I felt I should, they asked the same sensible questions I had asked at their age. I couldn’t give them the same unsatisfactory answers I had been given. I wouldn’t teach them something I didn’t believe.

After my father died, when there was no one left to disappoint, I acknowledged the fact that I am an atheist. I said it out loud.

“I am not a Christian. I am an atheist.”

I remember the moment. I was making the bed.

Little by little, I freed myself from the need for a supernatural experience.

Author: Susan B Raven

For many years I have suffered from debilitating bloglessness, only writing in my head, while everyone else posted and shared with ease. Previous attempts at recovery have failed, my secret journals edited to death, pages torn out, crumpled and trashed. I will not succumb to this embarassing condition. I will continue to struggle against the rampant backspacing and endless blank staring. I refuse to relapse into the void that is bloglessness. I can do it. I am doing it. I am Overcoming Bloglessness.

One thought on “Daily Prompt: In Good Faith

  1. Pingback: A MARRIAGE AND ITS PRECIPICE | hastywords

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