Overcoming Bloglessness

Daily Prompt: Island of Misfit Posts

5 Comments

Daily Prompt: Island of Misfit Posts.

We all have something we’d like to write about, but that doesn’t really “fit” our blog. Write it anyway.   Photographers, artists, poets: show us MISFIT.

Woe Is Me

I thought, when I started this blog, that I’d be lamenting more about my black days.  Turns out,  I don’t feel like writing when I’m having a black day.  My thoughts are too grim to share.   I don’t want you to know how ugly it gets in here, now that I’ve lured you in with bunnies and pretty flowers.

047

A year ago I went to the doctor seeking help for depression, back pain and sleep issues.  The doctor suggested we address the sleep problem first and prescribed Ambien.  For the back pain she recommended certain back strengthening exercises.   I listened to my doctor and followed her instructions.

Ambien gave me a pain in my brain.   Not an all-over headache, but a headache like a pointy stick stabbed into one very specific spot in my brain.   It made me feel sick and it scared me.   I quit taking Ambien after a few days.  The cure was worse than the problem.

I did the prescribed exercises every morning for about a week before the leg extentions ruined my knee.  I had a fluid filled cyst and a torn meniscus.  I needed surgery.

Don't try this at home!

Don’t try this at home!

I regretted my trip to the doctor.    The knee thing really pissed me off.   Surgery helped, but the knee will  never be as good as it was before I took the doctor’s advice.  I can’t run now.  I hate running, but that’s not the point.  Now, I can’t.

I retired nine months ago. That’s helped a lot.  Sleep isn’t an issue, now that I don’t have to get up at four in the morning.  I don’t wake up and  look at the clock every half hour.  I take an over the counter sleep aid that doesn’t stab me in the head.   I don’t have a back-ache every day now, but I still have the black days.   I don’t know if it’s depression or menopause or crazy shit I inherited from my mother.  I just know I’m not going back to the doctor for it.

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Author: Susan B Raven

For many years I have suffered from debilitating bloglessness, only writing in my head, while everyone else posted and shared with ease. Previous attempts at recovery have failed, my secret journals edited to death, pages torn out, crumpled and trashed. I will not succumb to this embarassing condition. I will continue to struggle against the rampant backspacing and endless blank staring. I refuse to relapse into the void that is bloglessness. I can do it. I am doing it. I am Overcoming Bloglessness.

5 thoughts on “Daily Prompt: Island of Misfit Posts

  1. You started your blog with the same thoughts I did. I agree with the “not feeling like” writing on those black days. I share on my blog how I will write the ugly feelings out and press “draft” Peace to you , hope you can feel better very soon.
    http://newleaseblog.wordpress.com/

  2. Pingback: Daily Prompt: Island of Misfit Posts | Maggie's Blog

  3. How do I keep this brief? Once upon a time and time again, I went to Doctors A, B, C. . . and finally I referred myself to a specialist–a neurologist who considered or investigated a range of possibilities. “How do you sleep?” she asked. “That’s the one thing I do well–except that I never wake feeling rested,” I said. “Let’s check,” she said. Result: an overnight sleep study which went far in explaining a multiplicity of things I was experiencing. When I told the doc I I’m sensitive to medication, she proved to be a medical artist. I’m grateful for restored energy and much that I had been missing.
    I’m telling you this simply to encourage you to keep researching and advocating for your return to feeling well. Don’t give up on doctors–just find the right match for you. Ask about low-impact training such as tai-chi, chi gong, mat pilates, etc. Tell him or her you’re open (if you are) to their guiding you toward safe use of supplements such as acetyl l carnitine, alpha lipoic acid, coQ10, etc Meanwhile, you can read about these via reputable sources at scholar.google.com. Careful! Even supplements can do harm, so find a doctor who’ll artfully guide you.
    I love my neurologist! I felt 90-years-old when I first saw her. She ordered lab tests to check vitamins and minerals (and everything else) in my system. There are so many ways for a truly-engaged physician to find clues to what’s going on. You don’t have to “go it alone”. If you can’t refer yourself, ask your primary care doc to refer you to an appropriate specialist. Find a match.
    Best wishes.

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