Overcoming Bloglessness

Bad Mommy

9 Comments

Daily Prompt: Careless Whisper.

Tell us about a time you or someone you know said something that they immediately regretted.
Photographers, artists, poets: show us SHAME.
_________
Bad Mommy

I wished I hadn’t reacted that way. I regretted my anger, my harsh words and raised voice. Why did I react that way?
It wasn’t necessary or helpful to shame the child. You can’t expect a child to come to you with a problem if you respond like that. I wanted my kids to feel like they could tell me anything.

I blew it.

It dawned on me that I had acted like my mother. That was her parenting style: yelling and shaming. The goal was not to teach, but to make me cry, to hurt my feelings.
I didn’t want to be that kind of mom.

I went back into Dotter’s room and apologized for my angry reaction. I tried to be more mindful after that, to be a kinder, gentler mom; but how much damage had I already done?
I wished I had seen it sooner.

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Author: Susan B Raven

For many years I have suffered from debilitating bloglessness, only writing in my head, while everyone else posted and shared with ease. Previous attempts at recovery have failed, my secret journals edited to death, pages torn out, crumpled and trashed. I will not succumb to this embarassing condition. I will continue to struggle against the rampant backspacing and endless blank staring. I refuse to relapse into the void that is bloglessness. I can do it. I am doing it. I am Overcoming Bloglessness.

9 thoughts on “Bad Mommy

  1. Pingback: Daily Prompt: Careless Whisper | Nola Roots, Texas Heart

  2. I was really afraid to have kids. I couldn’t see how I could NOT behave like my mom. Then with my niece, once, I did behave like my mom. I will carry the shame of that moment all my life. 😦 Sometimes I think we don’t even really have a choice. It’s what we know and BAM! Before we can even THINK, it’s out there. I have often wondered if I had to make that mistake ONCE in order not to make it again. The irony of it is that she, without ever really having known my mother, has grown up to be very much like my mom in many ways. Now I find myself having to remember that!

    • Yes, I agree…” Before we can even THINK, it’s out there.”
      In my maternal line, moms are evolving; each one kinder than the one before. My daughter is a great mom. Still, I bet she has a moment like that, where she sees herself being me and laments.

  3. Pingback: Daily Prompt: Careless Whisper | Chronicles of an Anglo Swiss

  4. We have our moments… We are only human… You are doing a great job by acknowledging it and doing better… Great job…

  5. Pingback: Daily prompt: Regret | The Wandering Poet

  6. I can completely relate : ( It’s hard to break the cycle, but all we can do is be aware, be mindful, be present, be kind, be gentler, be loving. Thanks for sharing what so many of us feel!

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